A Forgotten Victim – May Free Choice

Leaning against the wooden table of the bar, I gripped my glass of whiskey in my hand as I listened to the smooth jazz being played on the stage behind me. I slowly nodded my head to the beat of the music, not paying much attention to my surroundings. The song ended, and enthusiastic clapping followed from the crowd. The next performers came on to stage shortly and began their song. Hearing the angelic voice of the main singer, I turned around, intrigued. She stood in the front center of the stage holding the microphone stand, wearing a white, sparkly dress that went just above her knees. Her wavy brown hair was parted to the side, framing her face as she sang. She looked through the crowd, smiling at the people dancing and enjoying he music, her voice remaining steady. Looking at the bar, she made eye contact with me and winked. I smirked and finished my whiskey. The song ended, and the woman stepped off the stage. She walked over to the bar and asked the bartender for a drink. I turned back around and looked at her.

“Nice performance,” I complimented, “You have a lovely voice.”

“Thank you, sir,” she smiled, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Does your group usually perform around here?” I asked, “I don’t think I’ve heard you sing before. If I had, I would’ve remembered.”

“Nope,” she answered, “We’re doing a little bit of travelling right now.”

“Ah, interesting. Where are you from?”

“A really small town. You wouldn’t know it. Here, let me buy you a drink,” she waved the bartender over and said, “Two whiskeys. Thanks.”

“You didn’t have to,” I said in protest.

“I insist,” she stated firmly, “Anyways, what are you doing here tonight?”

“Just wanted a break, work has been exhausting.”

“Tell me about it.”

The bartender gave us our drinks and I took a sip.

“Hey,” I said, “I never got your name.”

“What’s the point of knowing it?” she asked in a bored tone, swirling her drink, “Names are just labels.”

“Fair point,” I nodded, “I guess for tonight we just don’t need to live up to our labels.”

“Exactly.” she placed her empty glass on the counter, “I’m gonna go out to get some fresh air. You can come if you want.”

“Sure,” I smiled, placed my glass down, and stood up.

She walked past me and right out the front door. I walked briskly to keep up, and stood next to her outside, taking a deep breath. I stretched my arms up to the sky, squeezing my eyes shut. Yawning, I looked over at her. The wind flowed through her hair, making it flow towards me. Her eyes were closed and she had a small smile on her face, looking peaceful and calm. Even though I had never met this woman before, I felt like we were connected. We just clicked, yet we don’t know much about one another.

“Hey, uh,” I said, “Could I maybe give you my number? So I could talk to you again some time?”

Scowling at me, she said, “We’re just strangers. You don’t know the slightest thing about me.”

“I’m sorry,” I sheepishly apologized, scratching the back of my neck, “I thought we had good chemistry and-”

“It doesn’t matter,” she looked at the ground and shook her head, “Look, just come with me somewhere.”

Puzzled, I replied, “Alright, if you want me to.”

She called for a taxi and had me sit next to her in the back seats. She didn’t say a single word and stared out the window the whole ride. As I looked outside at the house we arrived at, I realized it was my own.

“How-” I was cut off.

“Stop talking,” she paid the taxi driver and practically pulled me out of the car, “Go inside.”

Fear began to set in, and in a panic, I walked quickly to my front door and unlocked it. Pushing me inside, she closed the door behind her.

“I don’t know how you know my address,” I stumbled backwards, “but what do you want from me.”

Staring into my eyes with a fiery expression she snarled, “I don’t know, what do I want, Beast?”

I stopped dead in my tracks after hearing my old nickname.

“I have nothing to do with those thugs anymore,” my voice began to raise, “What do you want from me?”

“Oh, of course you don’t remember me!” she laughed maniacally, “I’d doubt you’d remember slaughtering my whole family. Right in front of me, as well!”

My stomach dropped as I remembered the little girl, curled up in the corner of their living room, sobbing and screaming for help. I could never forget the atrocities I committed. I live every waking moment regretting those days. Pulling out a dagger she had hidden under the skirt of her dress, she pointed it at me with a slightly shaky arm.

“I’ll do literally anything,” I begged, getting desperate, “just don’t kill me. I quit so I could get away from this.”

“Shut the hell up!” she screamed at me as she lunged forward, stabbing me directly in the gut.

A fiery pain sparked in my stomach, and my body tensed up. My hands shot to cover the wound, and I fell to the floor. I looked up at the woman in front of me, breathing heavily and shaking.

“Good riddance, asshole.”

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2 thoughts on “A Forgotten Victim – May Free Choice

  1. Dear Caitlyn,

    This short story was wicked. But in a cool way. I love how you developed the setting in detail at the beginning (the imagery was superb, by the way), and then the tables really turned at the end with that unexpected plot twist. At the beginning, it seemed like a typical “girl gets asked out at a bar, kind of La La Land” situation, but you ended it with in a mesmerizing way that had me reading it twice!

    My favourite part of the story would have to be: “It doesn’t matter,” she looked at the ground and shook her head, “Look, just come with me somewhere.” It is at this moment where I was thinking, okay, this is kind of strange, like, why is she reacting this way? It was the turning point for me, and I realized that something is not right, this has to go somewhere, right? Here’s the thing, you nailed the plot twist at the end. It can be hard to execute that without making it too obvious, and the way you did it was amazing.

    Although I loved your piece, there is just one minor suggestion for next time, and that is to fix some gumps here and there. For example, in the line “… she snarled, “I don’t know what do I want, Beast?” the dialogue is a bit confusing.

    Nevertheless, I don’t see why you can’t publish any of your work, as this piece was really, really good. Wish you the best of luck in your future written pieces, whether that be for school or for fun!

    Sincerely,
    Sadia

    1. Dear Sadia,

      I’m really glad you enjoyed it! To be honest, I didn’t really like this story, but reading your comment makes me feel more proud of it, so thank you for that. As for the sentence you mentioned in the last paragraph in your comment, I was rushing to finish it, so that’s probably why, but I’ll be sure to watch out for that in the future. Thanks again!

      Sincerely,
      Caitlyn

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