Peek-a-Boo – March Free Choice

I yawned, leaning against the counter of the deserted, brightly lit pizza place, bored out my mind and ready to go home. A faint hum from the lights and machinery began to annoy me, having been in the store alone for around two hours. My shift was ending soon, but my boss had already gone home and would probably fire me if she found out I left early without her permission. I tapped my foot on the white tile floor, getting eager and impatient. Breaking the silence, the phone rang out, making me jump a little. I composed myself quickly and picked up, saying the line I had memorized from saying it so often.

“Katy’s Pizza, thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

A soft, honeyed voice replied, “I’d like to order a large cheese pizza. For delivery, please.”

“Of course,” I said, “What’s the address?”

“117 Velvet Lane,” she answered, “Thank you.”

“I’ll be able to get there in about ten minutes,” I said, “Thank you for your order!”

The customer hung up, and I went into the kitchen and grabbed a pizza. I placed it carefully in a box, closed up the shop and turned off the lights, and walked out the door, locking it behind me. I got to my car and got inside, ready to finish up my final delivery of the day.

 

As I pulled up to the large house, I wondered how I hadn’t noticed it before. I had surely driven past the street is was on, especially since a lot of my deliveries are covered in this area. I grabbed the pizza and exited my car, shivering as I made contact with the cold night air. I shut my car door and walked up the old-looking steps of the house. It loomed over me, taller than most of the houses on the street, almost like it was trying to intimidate me and keep me way. A burning feeling in my chest began to bubble up, almost stopping me from doing my job. Despite the anxious, overwhelming urge to turn around, I knocked on the dark, wooden door and waited for somebody to answer. I lightly tapped my toe, still nervous without an apparent reason, and the door opened. A short, brown haired girl stood in the doorway and looked at me. She was wearing a cozy looking black sweater, dark jeans and a choker with a small red rose in the middle.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hello,” I greeted, “16 dollars and 99 cents is your total.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” she said nonchalantly, smiling in a sickly sweet way, “We don’t need it.”

I looked at her, confused, not knowing what she meant.

“I’m sorry, wha-”

My sentence had been cut off short when a strong arm wrapped around my body and held a piece of cloth over my mouth.

 

Monotone chanting was the only thing I heard in my dazed state on the floor, and I failed to process any of the words. My eyes were only half open due to the bright light around me burning them. Five figures circled around me, staring directly in front of them self, each with an unreadable facial expression. My vision blurred and I lowered my head to the ground then passed out.

I awoke on a cold, hard surface, groggy and numb. As I began to open my eyes, a painful thumping in my head made me flinch. I slowly began to sit up, only to feel my hands tied tightly together. The burning feeling from earlier had come back, this time because of pure fear. I opened my eyes fully and looked around. Dozens of red, lit up candles surrounded me in a circle formation. I gradually rose to my feet, my entire body sore and weak. Only one door lead outside of the room, yet I was suspicious. That girl could come in at any moment. I was terrified, but it could possibly be my only way out. Avoiding all the candles, I carried my exhausted body to the door and slowly, I opened the door a crack.

The inside of the house looked fancy; paintings lining the walls, pedestals with intricate vases on them, small yet pretty chandeliers on the ceilings, and red velvet carpets. I listened and searched for any sign of life around, only to seem alone. Ignoring my throbbing headache and impulse to stay in the room, I opened the door wider and slipped out. I walked down the many halls, looking for an exit or window to jump out of. However, with my hands bound, I was unsure of how I would do it.

It felt like I had been wandering for hours when I had finally come across a large staircase, leading downwards. Careful to not make any noise, I gently stepped on the wood and a loud creak sounded from below me. I instantly jumped back, anxious of alerting anybody that could be nearby. I quickly viewed the area, and not spotting anybody, I slowly but surely made my way down the stairs. With only a couple quiet noises, I eventually made it down to the lower floor.

The area looked more promising than the previous one, the room being more open and less hallways in sight, but still just as fancy looking. While walking around, my headache began to get increasingly worse, making me more nervous and alert. Even the smallest of noises caused me to jump in fear. I repeatedly looked over my shoulder, trying to convince myself nobody was there. The paintings on the walls were beginning to look creepier, containing people without faces, pentagrams and what looked like cult sacrifices. The pounding in my head had become unbearable, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I stopped walking and held my head, breathing deeply and trying to calm myself to make the pain stop.

I opened my eyes and realized I had walked into a room with ten pedestals in a rectangle. Each one encased a weapon, a glass box covering them. As I made my way farther back into the room, I realized that five of the cases were empty. I heard a thump from the entrance of the room, and I turned my head towards the noise. Five people were standing next to each other, each carrying something in their hands. I made eye contact with the girl in the middle, the same one who had opened the door when I had first arrived. I immediately backed up to the back of the room and the group of them stalked towards me. They stopped and the girl held her crossbow up.

Aiming it at my head and smiling in that same honeyed smile while pulling the trigger, she said, “Peek-a-boo.”

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2 thoughts on “Peek-a-Boo – March Free Choice

  1. Dear Caitlyn,

    Your piece was so beautiful and ended with something so unexpected. I loved your imagery especially in the line,” The inside of the house looked fancy; paintings lining the walls, pedestals with intricate vases on them, small yet pretty chandeliers on the ceilings, and red velvet carpets.” I got to really capture how unusual it was for a fancy house to be so creepy. The flow of your writing made everything seem so important intriguing the reader into reading more. I also really liked how you included dialogue to mix up the writing a bit.

    To make this writing even better, I believe you can include more description when your describing your character walking through the large house. This would make readers want to read more about what is about to come next. Besides from that small recommendation, that is all I would change about it.

    Overall, I really enjoyed your piece and hope to read more of your pieces this year!

    Sincerely,

    Mariam

    1. Dear Mariam,

      I’m glad you enjoyed reading it and thank you for the feedback! I’ll be sure to describe those parts more in the future.

      Sincerely,
      Caitlyn

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